Sean helped me into the boat. Neither of us was surprised when nobody else wanted to go. I was moody and a bit of a bummer today. I got a sharp annoyed look from Javelle who looked like she wanted to say something to me and changed her mind when Bob came up behind her.
I thought about this as the wind whipped my face and hair. I smiled into the joy of racing across the lake. Not as fast as I would have liked, but better than nothing.
Group relationships rarely end well. I knew this and now I was stuck in the thick of one ending poorly. The only exceptions were Gemma and Ryan, and Annie and Tommy. Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go. They become part of the group and wander off when things go south. The only exception to that was Tommy who didn’t peel away from the group and is now a solid force among us. When he and Annie broke up they stayed close friends and now they had a weird happy on and off again relationship. They never fought. It was weird but worked for them.
If Bob and Javelle didn’t work out, I had no doubt she would be the one to part ways. She was brought in by Gemma. Who brought in most of the group in one way or another. She and Ryan were the original founders. I smiled at that thought and glanced at Sean who was looking at the water to make sure it wasn’t too bumpy a ride. My mind wandered back to the first time I met Sean.
I’d skipped two grades in grade school so I was in high school early. That’s where Gemma and I met. Grade nine. She thought I was adorable and loved that I was mature for my age and fun. I’ve always been energetic and outgoing and it lessened the impact of my younger age.
The first time we met I was still eighteen and Sean was the older handsome sexy man with a charming reputation. I had a beautifully done fake driver’s license. A copy of my own but altered to say I was nineteen. A birthday present from Gemma. It worked the first time I’d used it and the bouncer didn’t look twice since all my friends were older and regulars.
Gemma had already amassed a large group of friends but more importantly a tight group of important friends. Sean had dated her older sister for a couple years and Sean and Gemma became good friends during that time. Gemma’s sister Clara went insane. Well, I think she had to have gone bonkers to pass up on Sean and cheat on him. Clara was weird. She became anorexic and dependent on alcohol and I suspect drugs. She moved to New York to model and hasn’t been seen since. Too good for her family, Gemma told me. It was sad but it does happen.
Nervous that I’d be busted for underage drinking I kept my behavior low key. I had approached the small group. At this point I had known Louie, Annie, Stella, and Ryan for years, Sean was the elusive one. He was never at any parties or gatherings that I was able to get into or got to. Louie used to joke that Sean and I were both forces to be reckoned with and the world couldn’t handle both of us in the same room. he was probably right about that.
I was intrigued by the mystery man Sean, who had his heart destroyed by Gemma’s crazy horrid sister who was always mean to me. I’d heard wild exciting stories of Sean and I was nervous to meet him. I saw Sean leaning against the bar in that sexy casual way a man does when he doesn’t care what people think, and knows they want to either be him or be with him.
I was spellbound. My hands became clammy and I’d never been so nervous in my life. He looked at me with interest as we approached. I know I rocked the tight blue jeans and black tank-top I wore and I had my hair up.
“They finally snuck you in did they?” Sean smiled at me and held out his hand. “Sean.”
Oh like I don’t know who he is. I put my hand in his and instead of shaking he raised it and kissed the back. It was tacky and I loved it. Nobody knew about my romance novel addiction yet and I behaved as if no man was good enough or smart enough for me.
That was only time Sean was perfectly nice to me. After I’d blushed, his eyes narrowed and he was short and almost rude to m for the rest of the night. There had been polite and forced conversation but nothing personal.
For weeks and months after we met, we fell into a routine of belittling the other and competing. In a way, it worked for us. It was my first boyfriend after meeting Sean that started the harsher behavior from him.
The boat slowed and I shook the memories from my mind. When I looked at Sean as he lowered the anchor I was struck by how incredible he is and always has been.
My mind flitted back to Alan who was my first boyfriend after meeting Sean.
My hands shook as I closed the front door of my house, dropped my purse and keys on the table and pulled down the top of my spaghetti strap dress. I leaned against the cool wall and tugged on my nipples. I smiled at my reflection in the wall length mirror and pushed my dress down over my hips taking my underwear with it. I stepped out leaving my heels on and went back to fondling my breasts.
Reading erotica on the bus home and thinking dirty thoughts all day led me to this burst of out of control need. I moaned and ran my hands over my curvy body watching myself in the mirror. I’ve never done this before but the character in the book had. I stood here in broad daylight in front of a mirror. The idea stuck and I had to do it.
I spread my legs and gasped at how shiny and swollen I’d become. The lightest touch from my fingers sent spasms of pleasure through my lips to my clit. I wondered how wet I could get and spread myself to look. I leaned up against the wall and began rubbing my clit in gentle circles.
I’ve always been shy about sex, and lately, I’ve been reading more and more erotica. Some of it made me horny some made me cringe. I quickly found the sub-genres that made my blood rush and focused on them. I wanted to be more I wanted to explore and play. In my head after reading a story I’d feel brave, however the more time that passed after reading, the less bravado I felt.
I took in the view of my hand with my delicate petals pushing up between my fingers. I imagined myself a sexy woman in a novelette, the confident woman who could claim the pleasures she longed for.
I clenched and pulsed, I sunk to the floor as I pulled my heels closer to my bum and spread wide. The cold floor beneath me became warm as my body heated up fast.
Panting, groaning and rubbing marginally faster, I gasped when a sexy amount of viscous wet pooled at my opening. I tightened my pelvic muscles and it overflowed. The clear shiny line made its way over my taint to drip to the floor. It was happening I was doing what a woman in a sexy story might do.
“Oh yes,” I said rubbing my lips and clit faster, my pulse thundered in my chest and ears.
I closed my eyes and let my orgasm take over my body. The sweet sensation coated me and caressed my soul. There was more to this than one meager orgasm. I planned to watch myself finger my now dripping pussy.
I opened my eyes to see my husband standing with his mouth open, eyes burning with lust and a raging hard on in his hand and I grinned at my reflection as I disappeared two fingers deep inside as he fell to his knees stroking. Now was my moment to be bold.
I opened my eyes feeling rested and warm. Realizing that Sean’s arm around me made me hold my breath. How and when did that happen?
I shifted to move away, Sean made a contented sound deep in his throat and pulled me closer. Shit. Not good. He may not be upset about this, but I am. I pried at his hand and he held me even tighter.
“If I have to put up with your whining and thrashing in your sleep the least you can do is let me sleep in. Stay still.”
“No. Let me go,” I whispered harshly.
“Don’t start Sean, you don’t care and it that’s not fair to me.”
He let me go. “Not a morning person anymore?”
“I am.” I stared at him laying there unfurled, his sculpted chest bare and his half-cocked smile and… I looked away from his obvious discomfort with tingles swirling in my insides. “But I’m not your morning person anymore.” I tugged my shoe on and winced at how much my foot hurt this morning.
He sighed heavily as I refused to look at him.
“You don’t have to go.”
I unzipped the tent. “Yes I do, you’re too tempting and you know it. Don’t be a jerk.”
“It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep sex and emotions separate Beth.”
“Screw you, Sean,” I muttered and closed the zipper behind me. I found my new crutches and went toward the cabin.
By the time, everyone was up and fed and starting activities, I was feeling less angry and broken. I know it will take a while for me to get over this but I will. Right now I couldn’t shake the dreadful gut-wrenching moment when Sean looked my way apathetically.
I pondered this as I sat on the dock in my bikini. Apathy was never Sean’s thing. He had a wide swinging range of emotions like the ones I have, apathy suited him as much as sad and mopey suited me. I rubbed my hands on the dock to distract my mind from it’s thoughts.
“You’re really shaken up over yesterday huh?” Javelle sat beside me as Bob sat on the other.
“More than I thought I’d be.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Bob said and Javelle agreed.
The conversation drifted to various subjects. All of which I participated in. I’ve always been lucky to be able to carry on no matter how horrible I feel inside. A brave face my mom used to call it, she would know she used one regularly along with the liar’s face she used the most. Eventually, the water called Bob and Javelle and they joined the others.
After lunch, Sean took Stella, Javelle, Bob, Annie, and Tommy out on the boat as Louie and Gemma raced around on the Sea-doo’s playing a game I called monkey see monkey Sea-doo. The premise is player one performs a series of moves and player two has to copy. for each perfect copy they get a point. Ryan and Thane were off fishing up the lake shore still in sight.
I had finished reading all my books and wasn’t in the mood to reread any of them. I decided to go poke at the fire when I saw the boat coming back. “Get a grip, Beth,” I muttered as my stomach fluttered at the sound of Sean’s voice. I smiled at everyone as they started milling about.
Javelle instigated an impromptu badminton tournament after she found a set in the shed. I kept score like a good girl even though I felt like a broken loser and cheered everyone on, including Sean, like a friend would.
I didn’t want to move around too much, my body was sore and stiff from yesterday and I really did need to stay off my foot as much as possible. I was infinitely grateful that I was sitting here watching my friends and not raped and dead. My emotions were swinging wildly but I think I did an okay job hiding most of it.
“Do you want to go out on the boat?” Sean asked just after dinner.
I shook my head no.
“You can’t just sit here all day Beth you need to have some fun too.” Sean crossed his arms.
“I am having fun.” I narrowed my eyes unjustly at him.
“You’re sitting there inside your head and dwelling.”
“I’m sorting through some complicated emotions that’s all.”
Sean leaned closer. “That’s called bullshit and lady you reek of it right now.”
“Look.” I leveled my angry eyes at him. “I had a particularly shitty day yesterday and I truly and honestly appreciate that you are so fast and saved my ass. However,” I shifted myself in the chair, “I need you to either ignore me completely or respect the fact that unlike you I have a heart.”
“That’s uncalled for.”
“If you don’t like my company you can walk away or even run. I would if I could.”
He stared at me a moment, looked over my shoulder, turned on his heel and stormed off toward Ryan and Tommy.
“How are you doing babe?” Gemma pulled a canvas chair over to me after looking at Sean suspiciously.
“Are you playing buffer?” I asked quietly as she took my hand in hers.
“Yes.” Gemma kissed the back of my hand. It was something we do to show that we care. I don’t recall how it started but it was only she and I that did it. “See there is a weird problem.”
“I know I created it.”
“No not that.” Gemma pointed at Sean as he glanced our way. “That is a problem.”
“Yes, Sean. Aside from this fucked up situation, he’s still trying to be nice to you.”
“And it’s making you feel worse, am I right?”
I nodded as she squeezed my hand.
“Beth you can’t see what I see because you are you. Sean’s on the edge of something and I’m afraid it won’t be good if he falls off the edge the wrong way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. What happened yesterday was awful. You’re handling it way better than anyone I know could. How you’re not a ball of blubbering I don’t know. I would be. I’d be a mess. Do you want to know what I think?”
“You’ll tell me either way.” I snickered.
“Yes, I will. I think you’re not as shaken because someone made you feel safe. Someone chose to comfort you not once, but twice. Did you two have sex again last night?”
“No.” I swallowed hard. “I just couldn’t be alone.”
“And Sean, the guy who’s a total jerk to you, put aside his problems to make you comfortable and feel safe.”
“Yeah but-” I was interrupted by Gemma’s hand raised.
“Nope. Do you honestly think for one second that Thane, Bob, Louie, Tommy or Ryan would have dropped what they were doing instantly and run off at your cry for help?”
“They would eventually but not one of them knew which direction to run, nor did they run right away with zero hesitation.”
“This is not making me feel better.”
“Okay let me put it this way.” Gemma smiled with love and friendship. “If you spent years denying yourself… real chocolate because you feared real chocolate made you instantly fat. So you let yourself have tastes of carob and fake waxy crap. All the while, you had the smoothest and most desirable piece of chocolate within reach all those years. What would you do if you suddenly found yourself binging on that chocolate and realizing too late that you weren’t supposed to because you were afraid to get fat?”
That was a good analogy since I would never deny myself chocolate and yes I understood her point. I just didn’t believe her. Sean made himself clear. I was the only fool here.
“What would you do Beth?” Gemma urged.
“I guess I would push it away and feel horrible guilt for indulging.”
“And?” Gemma patted my hand.
“And,” I rolled my eyes, “I suppose I’d have a hard time just walking away.”
“Go for the boat ride, Beth.”
“Can’t you just take me out?”
“No can do.” Gemma stood. “Ryan and I are going for a romantic hike. I’ll let Sean know you’ve changed your mind.”
Before I could object, she jogged away toward Ryan and Sean. Who incidentally looked beaten. Sean’s shoulders were slumped slightly and he had his head lowered. I watched him look up as Gemma approached. She talked excitedly with her hands and then grabbed Ryan’s arm and tugged him toward the cabin.
Sean looked up at me and I understood what Gemma meant. He was on the edge of something and I was the one that might push him over… the wrong way.
Sean stood casually leaning against Ryan’s car when I came out on new crutches. He looked up and smiled as we approached as if he hadn’t spent hours shopping while I was miserable.
“There is the cutest little deli around the corner.” Sean handed Each of us a takeaway bag with a sandwich with carrot and celery sticks.
“Thanks I’m starving.” Gemma furrowed her brow. “Did you just spend all that time shopping?”
“Why?” Sean asked as Ryan helped me into the car.
“Never mind.” Gemma pursed her lips and got into the car forcing Sean to sit in the back with me.
Nobody talked about what happened and conversation was comically obtuse. I found my spirits lifting as Sean and Ryan told us a story about this adorable old woman they met at the bookstore coffee shop that insisted Sean looked like her late beloved husband Alfie.
It was after seven pm by the time we rolled into the driveway of the cottage. The fire was high and there was a tension about everyone.
After telling the story and getting a whole bunch of sympathy, we settled into a quiet night around the fire telling jokes and silly stories. Sean was teased about how fast he took off running to save me and they joked about getting him a cape and tights.
I rubbed the now insignificant spider bite on my neck as people started shifting off to bed. Everyone had made plans for tomorrow and it would be packed full of boat and Sea-doo play, fishing and a lot of drinking. No mention of hikes or anything off-site.
“You can sleep in my tent tonight,” Sean said once we were alone.
I know he heard me talking to Annie. I insisted that the stairs were too much and I was fine on the air mattress in the living room.
“I’ll sleep with the arachnids.”
“I actually got bitten. Can you believe it? Those rotten little bastards have it out for me I swear.”
Sean smiled making my heart jump. “I noticed.”
I licked my lips wishing I had had some alcohol. “Thank you for saving me today.”
“I’d do the same for anyone.”
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not the indifference he delivered.
“Thanks, none the less.” I got up from my chair and winced.
“How far did you run?”
“I don’t know.” I kept my face turned from his.
Truthfully, I was still shaken and didn’t want to be alone.
“You must have been terrified.”
“I was. Although in hindsight I feel pretty pathetic.”
“Ryan said something about that.” Sean moved to force me to have to look at him. “That man took you by surprise and you’re injured. You fought back.”
“Big fucking deal. I fought back. I did not save myself, Sean. I could not save myself. Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter because if I didn’t have someone come and save my pathetic ass I’d be dead. He was going to kill me.”
“I know,” Sean said with a hitch in his voice. “He was so intent on it that he didn’t even see me approach or kick his face.”
My hands started shaking and my good leg was giving way. Sean pulled me into his arms and held me tight.
“God Beth I’ve never seen a look like that before today. I’ve never seen insanity. I was so scared and furious.”
I let him hold me and knew it was a bad idea. Just being close I felt safe and my body hummed with contentment and the beginning of arousal. I calmly reminded my errant body that he wasn’t mine to play with anymore.
“Do you think we’ll be alright?” I asked quietly feeling the comforting warmth of his body on my front and the comforting heat of the fire on my back.
“Time wears down pain and it lets us move on.” He kissed the top of my head and it broke my strength. My tears and soft sobs were too much.
“Let me go.”
“No. Please, please just…” I pushed away from him. “I know you don’t love me but I was an idiot and fell for you. I cannot, cannot keep fooling myself.”
“So you’re going to go up to that living room and bawl your eyes out? Over me? Don’t bother Beth. I’m not worth it.”
I looked at him sharply. “What do you mean you’re not worth it?”
He backed away and looked at the fire.
“No, I’m serious.” I hopped on one foot over to face him. “Is that was Clara said?”
“Drop it, Beth.”
“Like hell I will. Is that what she said to you?” I grabbed Sean’s arm hard. “Did she use that as a justification?”
Sean looked at me funny. “Justification?”
“Yes. Did she?”
He blinked a few times. “She… did actually. Huh. Nobody’s ever attached that word. Blame, reason, cause or whatever, but not justification. Why would you say that?”
“Because I’ve had sex with you and I can’t for the life of me figure out any reason whatsoever that she did what she did. I mean, come on Sean you’re-” I stopped myself from saying perfect, I’ve told enough lies lately.
“She had plenty of reasons. I’m curious why you can’t figure out even one.”
I took a slow deep breath. “Well.” My face flushed so badly it hurt.
I wondered if he could tell in the firelight. His slight bemused smile said he could. “Um you had unprotected sex with her, and I… um, ah I know how that feels now. Why would she give it up?” I looked down at my foot and cast. “Unless it’s like that with everyone.”
Sean was quiet for a few seconds before he responded. “You don’t know do you?”
I shook my head no.
“Oh, Beth.” He pulled me into an unexpected hug. “Oh, my silly Beth. No, it’s not like that with everyone. Shit, it was never that good with Clara either. Ever. Maybe not even altogether.”
“Before with the condoms on, did you ever feel that level of intensity?”
“No.” I inhaled his scent.
“Me neither. Which is why we need to stop. Before anyone gets seriously hurt. You don’t really love me Beth, just the romantic idea of what I’m not, but you think I could be.”
His words were logical, but I wasn’t flying on logic.
“You’re exhausted, you’ve had a very bad day. Take my tent and go get some sleep.”
“There’s no need for-”
“No Sean I mean I can’t. I know it’s stupid because he’s in jail but…” My eyes flicked to the direction of the path I took earlier. I was afraid.
“I see. Would you feel safer in the cabin then?”
“Not particularly.” I rubbed my neck.
He was silent a moment. “Alone. You’re afraid to be alone.”
“I know it’s stupid, right?”
“No. No, it’s not.” His tone flattened out. “Okay, I’ll sleep with you.” He cleared his throat. “Beside you. No sex and no touching.”
“I get it.” I hated it but I understood.
He has fully rejected me now. I knew that when he didn’t bother to come see me at the hospital and went shoelace and sandwich shopping instead. “Thank you.”
Awkwardly I went into his tent while he retrieved my sleeping bag and promised he shook it out well before bringing it into the tent.
I was grateful for what I could get and being in the same tent was as good as I was getting. I closed my eyes and opened them when I saw Allan’s face and grimy teeth. I couldn’t shake the image and tossed and turned.
“Beth. He’s behind thick iron bars.” Sean whispered.
I said nothing and tried to stay still as my mind fretted and my foot hurt badly.
The searing pain in my foot shifted to a sharp breath shattering throb as we waited for the police. Louie went back to show them the way and Thane stayed on the phone with the emergency operator until they came down the path.
Call me selfish but I didn’t want Sean to let me go and to my surprise, he didn’t. He stayed sitting on the ground holding me while the paramedic named Marian, who was upset at what happened, checked me over.
The two Mounties confirmed he was a man named Allan Gustier who had committed felony assault and killed his wife and brother. He was also up for charges of rape, theft, and assault with a deadly weapon. Allan Gustier roused as the police rolled him over and hauled him to his feet. He was already cuffed securely.
“I’d like to get your foot looked at.” The paramedic said. “Other than that you’re okay. Your neck might hurt a little.”
“It’s not bad.” I frowned.
“Have her looked at Marian and we’ll get her full statement.” The officer named Marchant said. He’d asked me the basic questions of who I am and whatnot. He said he’d get the statement from me at the hospital after I was safe and medically sound. I thought that was nice and I let him know I appreciated it. I was starting to feel lame that I couldn’t handle the man myself. That I didn’t remember enough of my self-defense and panicked.
“I’ll bring a stretcher,” Marian said.
“Can we just carry her?” Louie asked as he ran his hands through his hair. He looked furious and frustrated at the man being led away in cuffs.
“Sure if you can manage.” Marian said and put her equipment in her bag.
“She weighs nothing,” Sean said as he moved to his feet and Louie picked me up.
Gemma jogged ahead to let everyone know what was going on and that I was for certain okay. Mostly.
I wrapped my arms around Louie’s neck and held on. I looked over his shoulder at Sean. I kept recalling his foot kick the man from me and then he took him down swiftly with no banter or machoism. His eyes met mine, he closed his as if in pain and my heart broke all over again. I leaned my head on Louie’s shoulder grateful to have such caring friends.
“Shh babe we have you. You’re safe now.” Louie cooed in my ear as he held me in his strong arms.
Ryan came up behind Sean as we got to the clearing toward the cabin. “So are you going with her or is Gemma?”
I heard the question but not the answer as they went toward the cabin and Louie took me to the waiting ambulance. Allan struggled against the Police and they shoved him roughly into the back of their cruiser.
In a haze, I took an offered bottle of water from Gemma who kissed my cheek and stepped aside to let Sean into the back of the ambulance. “Ryan and I will follow in our car to bring you guys back.”
I nodded and started picking dirt from my fingers. Sean was allowed to sit with me since I wasn’t seriously hurt and apparently Sean requested to ride in the back with me, Marian and the driver sat up front.
“Why did you come?”
“It was easier since I’ll need to give a statement too.”
“Oh.” I went back to picking debris from my nails wondering if any of it was from the gross man. I stopped picking and grimaced. “You could have ridden with Ryan.”
“No, I couldn’t.” He said with finality and neither of us said a word more until we got to the small hospital.
I was afraid and upset about the attack. Having Sean with me was a comfort that I don’t think he understands. Hell I barely understand it. Part of me wanted him here and the other part wanted him to go away. I sat there with a broken foot and a broken heart trying not to look at Sean grateful and miserable for his presence.
After a full exam and X-rays, the doctor left me waiting alone in a small makeshift room. I was allowed to wash my hands since there was no need for evidence and I hadn’t scratched his skin. I sat there numb, alone and afraid. I was mostly afraid, but not of what happened or almost happened. I was afraid of Sean. I don’t know if I can manage to see him and not feel like my heart, body and soul was being sucked through a meat grinder. Maybe in time I could look at him and not feel so ground up.
“You’re a pitiful sight,” Gemma said with a friendly smile followed by a long and warm hug.
“I feel ridiculous. I don’t know why but I do. Like I should have kicked his ass or something.”
Ryan had entered as I gave my pity speech. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Not it’s not. It wasn’t good enough Ryan. If Sean hadn’t found us when he did.” I rubbed my neck. My jaw hurt a little from the punch but not as much as I expected it to.
“We weren’t far behind Sean, he’s just a fast runner and the second he heard your scream he grabbed a radio took off running. No hesitation.”
I wasn’t sure what his point was. I get it, Sean saved my life. I don’t need him painting Sean in a romantic light. In fact, that was the last thing I needed.
“Speaking of.” Gemma looked out the curtain door. “Where is he?”
Ryan shrugged. “He’s off buying new shoe laces or something.”
I’m not sure if I succeeded or not to show how much that bothered me.
“He did use his to tie up that shitty man.” I offered.
Gemma shook her head. “I hope you two can sort this out otherwise it will cause problems.”
“I know. It’s all me. Don’t worry I’ll stabilize and get back to how things were eventually. I’m not planning on being a bitch or anything and I don’t hate him.”
“Good to hear,” Ryan said and gave me a sideways one armed hug.
The doctor came in shortly after that to tell me the wait was to get the scanned copies of my original X-rays. I am a lucky woman. I didn’t get raped by a homicidal lunatic and I did not do any further damage to my foot. I was not to walk on it for a couple days and to ice it for swelling if need be. He didn’t need to give me a prescription since I already had what he would prescribe. I was discharged and still no sign of Sean.
My heart thumped as I stared at the dirty man in a torn green shirt an camo pants. A man who appeared from nowhere.
“I’m camping with my friends.” I picked up my camera and put it in my pocket.
“Oh, I know that. But they’re all the way back there.” He hitched his thumb over his shoulder. “You shouldn’t be wander’n alone ya know.”
“Ah, yes you’re right. Thanks for the safety tip.” I moved to go around him and he shifted to block my path. “I’ll head back.”
“Not so fast.” He eyed my crutches and cast.
His beady eager eyes danced up my body and settled on my breasts. Fear became more than just the background noise of being startled by a stranger in the woods while alone. My big city girl came out to play and she was running all sorts of scary scenarios in my head for me.
“Please let me pass.” I reached slowly for the radio clipped to my hip.
“Oh, I don’t think so. You’re far enough away now. Got any food in that pack?”
“Sure. Yeah. Um, protein bars and peanut butter. Salt…”
“Don’t worry I’ll lighten that load after I have what I really want.” He grabbed his crotch and bile rose in my throat.
My hand shook as I pressed the button and screamed for help. He advanced and I managed to fend him off with my crutch one handed. I’m not giving in easily. I kept screaming for help and saying where I went. Hoping that someone would hear.
“Now I have to rush this you stupid bitch.”
I shoved the radio in my cleavage as he advanced and I swung my crutch. He grabbed it, pulled it from my hand and threw it into the water. I still had one more. The radio sounded.
“Are you hurt Beth? How bad come in.” It was Sean.
I managed to connect my crutch with my attacker’s knee. He grabbed it as I expected him to and I shoved him hard. He went down and I screamed as loud as I could. I brought my crutch down on his crotch and he yanked it from my hands.
Run. Cast and broken foot be damned I ran. Each terror-filled step took my breath away with pain. I pulled the radio out to answer the string of questions from Gemma and Sean that I wasn’t answering because I was busy fighting for my life. Each question from them was more desperate that led to urgent pleading for me to answer.
“Man… Chasing… me.” I screamed in both terror and pain.
He was behind me and I didn’t think he would blink twice about killing me now. I wasn’t running fast, to begin with, and I was losing the ability to endure the painful strides.
Suddenly my foot jerked out from behind me as if pulled and I went down with a thud face first into the semi-soft debris of the forest floor.
I struggled and screamed as loud as I could. He grabbed the fallen radio and threw it into the bush.
“I still have time to squeeze the life out of you and carry you off. Your pretty city boys won’t find you bitch!”
I did not stop fighting. The pain and fear made me rage. I kicked and clawed as he straddled me. His fist connected with my jaw and I saw stars and stopped screaming. It was enough for him to get his hands around my throat. I gripped his wrists as he tightened his grip and I tried to buck him off. He was too heavy and I couldn’t think of how to manage it. I saw a shoe connect with the man’s face and he fell back and off me.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded at Sean and rubbed my neck. Sean went after the man and kicked him again. He took up a fighter’s stance and did not take the defensive. In less than two punches, the man went down.
Sean pulled out his radio. “I have her. Call the police now and an ambulance.” He looked over his shoulders as I coughed and wiped my face.
“Ambulance?” Louie said over the radio.
Sean looked at me as I gathered my senses. “Yes just to be safe. I’ll update you in a minute.” He went to work untying and removing his laces quickly. Once he tied the man’s hands to his own boot laces Sean moved to me so fast it was as if he teleported.
His hands went everywhere at once. “Are you hurt?”
“My foot.” I cried out in pain. “I… had… to…” I gulped as he took his shirt off and dumped half of his bottle of water on it.
He handed me the other half. “Drink.” He said and wiped my face as I sipped.
Once he was satisfied I wasn’t bleeding or seriously hurt he pulled me into his arms. “I’ve never been so terrified as when I heard your screams and cries for help over the radio. I thought bear or something. Maybe a spider.”
Bears are rare in the area, it happened but I’ve never seen one here.
I giggle-hiccuped and appreciated he was trying to calm me down. I looked to see Ryan, Thane, Louie, and Gemma run up the path.
“What the fuck?” Thane said seeing the man on the ground.
“He… he…” I was a mess, I felt detached and I wanted to throw up.
Sean rubbed my back and held me tight. He whispered quietly in my ear. “Did he rape you?”
“No. I… fought and…” I winced at my foot pain, “ran.”
“Oh, shit babe.” Gemma had her arms around me as well after she took pictures of the man with her phone. “That had to be painful.”
Thane had his cell phone up. Cell service here was established because these cabins are usually rented to the wealthy families. We all chipped in to get this prime spot every year.
“The police are on the way, I described him and they’ve been looking for him, but expected him to be miles from here. Ambulance too I told them you ran on a broken foot.”
I nodded and let myself enjoy the comfort my friends offered. I buried my face in Sean’s bare chest as Gemma petted my hair and removed debris.
Louie was pacing and looking at the man as if he wanted to beat the daylights out of him.
Thane looked up with his phone to his ear. “They’re close.”
The small town wasn’t very far away, and they would probably speed to get here fast.
Sean prepped to make grilled seasoned corn on the cob(one of my favorites) and chicken shish-kabob with coleslaw and a potato salad. While Sean is an engineer, he was also a professionally trained chef. His father was a four-star restaurant owner and Sean often said that cooking wasn’t a passion for him, but it was a pleasure.
By the time the group got back, I came to terms with my emotions… for now anyway. Sean was a jerk and I was just as bad as he was. It happened and I had to get over it. The only problem was it wasn’t just a weird drunken one-night stand or a moment of unbridled passion. It had been a lot of epic chemistry soaked sex.
I took a deep breath and enjoyed the moment surrounded by my friends, surrounded by wilderness. With a full belly of frankly the best food I’ve eaten and two full beers, I was feeling more like myself and calmer. Still brokenhearted but I took ownership of it and I can mope back at home. Spirits were high and laughs were bountiful. There is nothing that can lift a spirit like good food, good friends and a side cramp caused by laughing too much.
Sean and I avoided each other completely and I chastised myself for noticing his valiant efforts to stay away from me. I had no idea that what we started in the car would end up making me feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. Just a glimpse of him or a thought of what we did made a flash of searing heat surge through my chest and then it tightened.
It wasn’t until after a shower and I had snuggled into my sleeping bag on an air mattress in spider city that I realized those flashes were fear. Not of what I did or that anyone knew or would find out, that I’d never feel his body, sweaty and heavy against mine or his hands brushing across my skin. I wouldn’t feel him hug me tight. Because after this I know, he’ll never so much as voluntarily touch my hand.
That was what Sean did when faced with a woman who developed feeling or asked for more. Complete isolation from an offending female. I knew this pattern well. Any woman who showed any sign of attachment was rejected instantly and ejected from his life completely, leaving broken hearts a-plenty behind him. I doubt they felt this horrible…
… I woke and scratched at my overly itchy neck. I climbed out of my sleeping bag as fast as my cast would let me. I grabbed clean clothes, hobbled quietly to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Low and behold, there was a spider bite on my neck.
“Mother f…” I hunched my shoulders in guilt.
It was early and everyone was still asleep. I found the antiseptic and then the cream for itchy bites. I would live but I was wholeheartedly freaked out that I was bitten.
I dressed in swiftly and put my clothes away. Annie brought down my crutches last night with a guilty look on her face. She was suspicious of my new sleeping arrangements. She didn’t seem too phased by my excuse of ‘I just can’t stand him and needed a break and no I don’t need the bed back.’
I grabbed my camera, something that I’ve completely neglected. I refused to even turn my cellphone on because work would harass me. My brothers could call Gemma if there was an emergency. Happy to get some fresh morning air and take some overdue pictures, I went out of the cabin as quietly as I could and grabbed a two-way radio from the charger. I checked that it was on the right frequency and headed toward an easy path that ran to the east around the lake.
I heard the telltale sound of a tent zipper and moved faster without looking back until I reached the treeline.
Sean stood outside his tent in his running gear looking my way. I held up the radio so he could see it. He waived, turned in a jiffy and I went toward the path.
The early morning sun started to lighten the sky and the dew droplets were starting to shine. I stopped and took several photographs of light play on the dewdrops and the slight mist in patches along the ground. I came out to a clearing near the lake and watched fish jumping after the early flies and mosquitoes emerging from the water no longer nymphs.
I stopped to take a deep breath and let the calm wash over me. There was nothing quite like a peaceful sunrise over a remote lake.
“What are you doing out here on your lonesome?”
I turned fast, dropped my camera and saw a dingy man lick his dirty teeth standing in the path I just came from.
I don’t normally post things beyond my writing so bear with me.
I’m toying with the idea of creating a contest for a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly special story where I take an idea(Freely given) From a dear reader and make it come to life. Either by my choice or by reader votes.
The idea could be a physical setting, scenario, a specific interaction, the outcome or the relationship. It could be as simple as one word or a description. I don’t want to rewrite a story just let your idea or fantasy become part of or the inspiration for one of my stories.
There would be rules since all my players are the age of legal consent. I’m not into writing about incest, super taboo, or borderline if not illegal stuff.
(Please don’t post any ideas in the comments below we don’t want to give spoilers, but feel free to leave honest comments or your opinion about this idea.) I will come up with a fun way to make this happen if enough people are interested.
No I haven’t run out of ideas, I just thought it would be hot to work with someone else’s fantasy for fun.
I turned and regretted physically lashing out at Sean. Gemma jogged toward me, stopped and knelt at my side.
“What on Earth is going on Beth? Why did you shove Sean in the water?”
“He made me angry.”
“Still that’s extreme.”
“It’s better than what I wanted to actually do.” I muttered.
“Beth…” Gemma sighed before continuing. “Never mind, I think I can take a wild guess. You slept with him last night didn’t you?”
I didn’t answer because I didn’t have to.
“And did you think that would change who he is? That he would magically stop hating Clara and what she did? That he would stop punishing himself and just start trusting blindly?”
“Of course not.”
“What happened?” Gemma asked rubbing my back.
I glared at her. She would know that I’m not about to give her details.
“Is this why Louie’s rounding everyone up for a hike up to the east bay?”
“He knows?” Gemma took my hand. “Oh, that’s why you’re so embarrassed.”
“That and I slept with the most inappropriate person I can come up with.”
Gemma sighed and put her hands on my shoulders. “Again, he’s not, but to you he is. So I get it.” She hugged me firmly. “It’s not the worst thing that could have happened.”
I pursed my lips.
“Beth, I’ll go organize and make sure everyone goes so you can sort this out in your head. Do not wander off without a pack and radio.”
“Lesson learned on that. I’ll probably mope around here.”
Gemma hugged me again. “We all make mistakes Beth.” She stood and I rubbed my face with both hands. “But sometimes we have trouble seeing which actions are the actual mistake.”
I nodded and she walked away. I felt like I was being reprimanded constantly by my friends. I know they all love Sean and they also love me. I wonder if they tell him I’m not so bad or as bad as he says as they tell me he’s not. I’d be pissed if they didn’t so I was going to assume that they do.
I trusted Louie, Gemma, and Ryan not to spill the proverbial beans. Gemma would tell Ryan since they kept nothing secret between them. That was fine I trusted Ryan not to be a jerk about it.
And he wasn’t. Ryan came up half an hour later with some iced tea, a bag of chips, one of my new books and a warm friendly hug.
“I’m not going to belittle your feelings by telling you it’s not a big deal.” Ryan smoothed my hair back from my face. “Because for you, it is. Do you remember Luella?”
I nodded. How could I forget? She and Ryan had a one-night stand just as he and Gemma were starting to date seriously, but before they’d had sex. He had been beside himself with guilt and self-degradation. Gemma hadn’t even been that mad at him about it since they were just dating. Hurt yes, but not mad. They worked it out and despite nobody thinking it was that big of a deal, Ryan had dragged that humiliating guilt around for weeks.
“Sometimes the worst judge and jury is ourselves. I’m only sad that I got my hopes up.”
I scrunched my face in confusion. “Hopes up?”
“Sure, that Sean would stop being the everlasting bachelor of misery and that I thought you two would be good together.”
“Pfft. We barely get along. I think I may have confused kindness with affection and let my brain play tricks on my heart.”
“Or you finally let your heart have a say. We’ll be back by dinner time, if not, we’ll radio.”
“Okay. Have fun.”
“You look exhausted, take a nap and find some peace with it, Beth.”
“Thanks for making me feel better.”
Ryan hugged me. “No problem babe.”
I waited for the group to clear out and read my book for a few hours before going to find the bathroom and lunch. I was enjoying my alone time. After a simple fire cooked hotdog, I contemplated a nap. I glanced at Sean’s tent and shook my head. My first inclination was to take my nap there. My cheeks flushed remembering how much sex I’ve had in that tent and how much I loved it.
My body heated up with the memories and despite how miserable I felt I became aroused quickly.
“Son of a bitch.” I frowned and crutched my way into the cabin and up to the room Annie and I planned to share originally.
I climbed onto the bed that was now unused and fell asleep quickly.
I woke to a loud crash in the kitchen. Instantly awake with my heart thumping and fear coursing through my veins I listened. The sun was still too high for the group to be back yet.
I didn’t hear crashing again but the distinct sound of someone in a cupboard and the fridge. Not an animal, they were too agile. An intruder? Maybe it was a thief. Genuinely afraid, I scooted down the stairs on my bum so not to make any noise. I needed to get out of the house. There were things I could use as a weapon and I could radio for help. Not that they could get here, fast enough. No, I would need a weapon and a good hiding place.
I thought about heating up the iron fire poker. Burns hurt. I went to the door and made it to the porch. The door opened behind me, I panicked and forgot my cast existed. I stepped to run down the stairs, my cast slid on the edge and I went down. I managed to twist my body so I landed on my hip and shoulder and not my face.
My name, not a stranger. “Owww.” I tried to get up and Sean lifted me up to sit.
“Hell Beth are you alright?”
“What do you care?”
“Don’t be petty. I’m serious. That was a bad fall.”
“I don’t know.” I winced and moved to sit and assess. “Nothing’s broken.” I chuckled. “Except my foot that is.”
Sean smiled and shook his head. “Why were you running?”
“Correction, it was a poor attempt at running I didn’t even make it one lousy step.”
“Yes your lack of grace aside, why did you throw yourself down the stairs?”
“I was afraid. I thought everyone was gone and there was a crash in the kitchen.” I moved to get up and Sean simply hoisted me to my feet.
“That was me. I stormed off on the west trail by myself after I got out of my wet clothes.”
I winced at that. I did feel guilty for shoving him. “I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m not mad.” Sean helped me up to my feet. “Before I left, Gemma gave me an earful. Did you go telling everyone?”
“No. She’s not stupid and like everyone keeps telling me, I don’t hide my emotions well.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Wait,” I said as he turned to go back into the house. “Did you know?”
“Know what?” He crossed his arms and I hated that I just wanted him to hold me with them instead.
“That I’d crossed the line. That I confused your unusual kindness as affection and…” I shrugged.
“Yes, I knew.”
“So yesterday, not last night?”
“Then why?” I breathed the last word as my emotions built up again. “Why did you still…”
He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t have an excuse. I knew it was over…”
“One last lay,” I said sadly.
Sean sighed heavily.
“Well, at least it wasn’t devastatingly amazing or anything.” Sarcasm and I are not very good friends. When I take it out the receiver knows that I am purely angry.
“Beth I don’t blame you for being angry. I should have known better.” He held his hand up to silence me and that raised my ire. “Be angry at me, I can handle that. I just don’t want a rift in the group because of this.”
“I don’t plan on dredging it up or using it against you. I just have one question.”
“What did you mean earlier when you said someone like me?”
He froze or appeared to freeze. For the first time since I’ve known him, Sean was speechless.
“That bad huh. I rescind my question. Do you want help prepping dinner?”
He shook his head, turned and went into the cabin. I went to find a beer.
I had plans with friends Saturday and had more fun with them than I recall having before. They were commenting on my mood and that I looked happy and flushed. They grilled me about a boyfriend and I said no. They were relentless so I said I found a friend with benefits and it was working out in my favor. They let it go after I insisted they didn’t know the man. Hell, it was more than one man and I didn’t even know them.
Giddy to serve I went into the shop and verified my stats were the same. I was in the waiting room less than five minutes before being called to room four. I didn’t hesitate to climb into position on my stomach resting my feet on the floor.
I felt fingers spreading me from behind and an unceremonious penetration. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being thrust into. Knowing that the man on the other end was enjoying me I clenched for him and he started a faster-hurried pace. I felt aroused and started enjoying it when he stopped abruptly, held himself tight and pressed as he came. I was vacated and remained horny and waiting. Would he do anything else? I was certain he’d used a condom since there was nothing leaking out of me. That’s a distinct feeling and it wasn’t there. The screen on the wall lit up and it simply said please wait for guest number two. Then it went out.
I waited and gasped when hands made contact with my ass cheeks. There was once again no foreplay as what felt like another condom clad cock edged into my opening. This one was slow and languid with his strokes as he rubbed my backside. His thumb grazed my anus a few times, as he thrust. It felt good to my surprise. I became wetter as my body enjoyed the strokes and caresses; I was close to orgasm and started clenching as he began thrusting fast.
Before I could get there, he did. I was left empty so suddenly I whimpered. This was part of the deal. It felt a bit uncomfortable to be used so coldly. I would never treat my servers this way. I didn’t want to. It was much more fun to know the cock I was using was enjoying it too.
Two more men came and did the same. Each time there was a let down break between and each time I was so close to orgasm. They came and left. How boring. Was that all they needed? I contemplated this as I felt hands run from my calves up to my thighs and then over my ass up to my lower back and back down. He repeated this until I was fairly dripping. I felt something cold touch the back of my knee and it started vibrating. A toy. At this point, I just wanted to come and didn’t care if it was by the toy. He ran the small vibrating object up over my leg, over my ass and down the other leg. When he brought it back up, he dipped it down to my wet and then up against my clit.
I wiggled my hips and rolled my eyes as the orgasm built quickly and released violently. Shaking and panting I waited for him to remove it. He slid it back through my wet and up to my anus. I tensed and he patted my ass cheek gently.
The buzzing was unusually pleasant, once I realized he wasn’t going to do more than that I relaxed and he pressed his cock into my well. It felt different, smooth and it rubbed nicely. No condom. It definitely felt much nicer than latex.
He held the toy in place as he began stroking my insides with his hard shaft. As I became more and more aroused, I wondered if it would feel even better if he put the toy inside my ass. A thought I’d never entertained before now. I felt the toy circling and enticing my no-go-zone as his cock brought me to the brink of a blinding orgasm. I gripped the bed, gasping and grunting as he unloaded into me. I cried out as my body burst into blissful oblivion. I felt him pat my backside gently and leave me. The telltale dribble of warm liquid slipped out and down the inside of my thigh. It didn’t gross me out at all. I rather liked it.
Once I was able to clean up, I answered all the questions asked and went to get dressed. I slept so well I didn’t even dream.