This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol.
It is rated R and is for readers 18+ only.
Little Adley (Snow Angel)
We had it all. The biggest house all the toys and vacations constantly. Life was good as long as dad was happy and I helped him. He loved us and gave us everything. He taught us right from wrong and how to be good. If we were bad, we were spanked or hit. Mom is kind and good. She was warm and loved us with a gentleness so different from dad. Dad liked secrets.
“Before we go back to the hotel Adley I need you to help me again. I forgot to give my friend his medicine.”
He put the soft gloves over my hands and handed me a little pill.
“Now he doesn’t like taking it, but if he doesn’t he will get very sick.”
Dad told me to go up to the man and put it in his coffee cup. It would make him sleep and get better. So I did because it was better to keep dad happy and I loved helping people. Helping others made me feel good right down to my toes.
“You have a kind heart, Adley.” Both of my parents would say this all the time only my mom said to be careful and protect my heart while my dad would say I needed put it to work.
My dad had a few friends that needed medicine that year. I thought sick adults slept funny and threw strange fits before falling asleep.
One day we were at one of my dad’s friend’s house and he just asked if I could use their bathroom. I knew what I needed to do to help this woman. I went to the bathroom and found her prescription with the word Dad made me practice spelling. Dad said she didn’t have enough so I put a pill in with the others. Now she had enough to be okay. I was so worried she would be without.
“You do a good job, Adley, my friends are so much better thank to all your help,” Dad said and hugged me. I only ever got hugs when I was being good. “But now your eight and you can help even more how about it?”
“Of course!” I grinned.
“Good girl. You see that man on the dock fishing?”
“He forgot his radio but is a bit grumpy. Can you go put it near his chair? He’ll be happy to find it but don’t let him see you.”
It was always a game of never be seen or caught delivering various items to people. Sometimes it was food others it was gadgets but mostly it was medicine.
I didn’t dare ask him again if he was a doctor after the one time when I was seven, he always hit me so hard for asking questions.
I hated when we stayed to make sure they fell asleep. “Daddy why do they sleep with their eyes open and drool gross?”
“Oh baby it’s because they’re sick, but they won’t be any more thanks to you.”
Things were always better when dad was paid for helping a friend get better. He was nicer to mom and Elton and I were given new toys. Then I would hear him on the phone promising to get someone money and then I would help a friend get better or find something lost.
Then one day Elton snuck a movie home that was for grownups. We watched it and I laughed when the man fell asleep after drinking medicine. He made such a silly time of falling asleep, a lot more silly than dad’s friends did.
“Adley that man is dead,” Elton said. “It’s not funny.”
“No, he’s sleeping and getting better.”
“No Adley he was poisoned. See the foam on his mouth and his eyes are glassy and open. People don’t sleep like that. He was murdered. You know what dead is right?”
I didn’t really. I’ve stepped on bugs and know they’re dead, but they are super smashed. Grandma Lassiter died but I wasn’t allowed to see her and she never came over anymore.
“It means you go away forever.”
“Yes like that man. He drank cyanide and now he’s dead. They will put his body underground and he will never do or see anything again.”
I didn’t pay attention to the scary movie after that. I had a lot to think about now that I knew something terrible.
Elton is smart and dad hates how sissy he is. But Elton takes the blame for me so I don’t get spanked as much. I know the word murder. It’s bad and is the worst sin. I couldn’t sleep and I dreamt of murdered men. Elton had to be wrong; I needed him to be wrong.
“Daddy?” I stood in the doorway to his den.
I was almost nine and hated that he called me baby. I know I’m not smart, I get in trouble for my bad grades at school I try, but I just don’t understand what the teacher wants from me. It takes me a while to understand things other kids already seem to know. Mom says I’m smart in my own way and I just need time to think things over. So that’s what I did. I’ve had enough time to figure out what Elton meant about murder and dead and now I wanted to see if dad was bad. If I was bad.
“I don’t feel good can I have some of your medicine?”
“No baby that’s special medicine.”
I held my hand open with a little white pill. It was candy from Elton’s secret stash but I nibbled it to look like dad’s pills.
“How did you find that?” He stood quickly, his arm reached fast. “Give it here.”
I put it in my mouth and he got so angry and screamed at me to spit it out. He put his fingers deep in my mouth and made me gag. I threw up on the carpet and he spanked me.
“That was bad Adley that medicine is for grownups only, you know that! Now how did you get it from my safe box?”
“What is a safe box?” I hiccupped and sobbed between words.
“Tell me!” He shook me and I cried.
“It was candy. I was just playing. I’m sorry.”
I had to stay home that week. He spanked my bum so hard I had purple bruises. Mom and dad fought more after that. Mom became sad and cried a lot. I knew the truth now. I had done murder. I wasn’t helping I was killing people.
I’m not smart but Elton is and so I asked him how to undo murder.
“You can’t Adley dead is dead.” He said not looking up from his book.
“But what if I did murder?”
“Don’t be silly Adley you’re too little to kill anyone even if you’re almost nine.”
Then I asked my mom. She said the same thing. When I asked my teacher, she also said the same thing, but asked why. I said I saw a scary movie. I didn’t want to get in trouble and be spanked again.
Elton got in trouble for the movie when the teacher called mom. Dad didn’t open his hand when he spanked him for scaring me. ‘Adley’s sensitive and needs to be protected’ he’d yelled with every hit. ‘Adley can’t take care of herself’ and ‘Adley isn’t smart like you’.
Mom cried and cried and I heard her on the phone that night to aunty saying she needed to get away. The next morning after dad left for work I had an idea. I could help mom who seemed to never stop crying now.
“Yes, Adley?” She said hugging me close.
“If I murder dad will he stop hurting us?”
“Adley! Why would you ask such a thing?”
“It’s easy. He makes you sad and you need to be happy. He made Elton cry again, he hurts when he hits and I can murder him.”
She covered her mouth with one hand to stifle her gasp and hugged me with the other.
“He showed me how.”
“Excuse me?” She moved me to look at me.
“Dad showed me how to murder. It’s in his safe box.”
“What’s in the safe box?”
“The medicine that he makes me give to his friends. Only Elton says it’s poison and they die. Dad said I was helping them to sleep. Elton is smarter than dad so he has to be right.”
She sat still for a while holding me tight. “In his safe box?”
“Dunno.” I said she held me a little too tight. “Dad gets money after I murder them.”
“Go get your brother. We… we need to go to town.”
“May I murder Dad?”
“No Adley you may not. Go get your brother and don’t tell him about murdering anyone.” She sounded so different, so far away that it frightened me.
“Okay.” I frowned. She didn’t listen to me. I could make him stop hurting us. “Elton, mom says we have to go into town.”
“Ugh, why? I want to finish my…” He sat up. “Why are you crying?” He dropped his book and pulled me into a hug even though he was sore.
“I’m not supposed to tell you. Come on we have to go.”
I told him anyway. I couldn’t keep secrets from Elton.
To be continued…
Copyright © 2017 All rights reserved CimmerianSentiment