This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol.
It is rated R and is for readers 18+ only.
Mom Know’s Best (Snow Angel)
I was shocked to realize I had left my cell at home and picked it up off the kitchen table. I didn’t even miss it or reach for it at all tonight.
“He distracts me,” I muttered with a smile.
There were no missed calls and just one text from my mom letting me know they made it to Aunt Helen’s.
“I’m so glad I didn’t go.”
My phone rang, and I jumped. I was nervous about random calls. As I answered the call from my mom as I went around the house making sure it was secure and double checked the security system.
“How was the date, was it romantic? Did he make your knees weak?”
The string of clustered questions was hilarious.
“Yes it was horribly romantic, and I loved every cheesy moment of it. I loathe to say this, but you were right.”
“About what?” She asked.
“That love doesn’t care how long you’ve known each other, it does as it pleases.”
“I knew it. Oh, I just knew you had that look about you yesterday. What did he do, and I don’t mean the naughty stuff.”
I chuckled, I knew she meant she wanted to hear about the romance. I told her about the date and how ridiculous I feel right now, as I got ready for bed.
“Adley you know that blinding chemistry soaked love doesn’t mean he’ll be like your dad right?”
I sighed and stayed quiet. I knew it, but that didn’t mean I could stop myself from thinking it.
“Because I was wrong about how I loved your dad.”
“But you said,”
“I know I did. What we had was chemistry, but there was no love, just obsession, and possessiveness.”
“What about Donovan? He’s all in.” I said and climbed into bed.
“He loves me too much, but it’s not the dangerous kind of too much.”
“Mom I swear your husband is a come-to-life Disney prince, maybe all of them in one.”
I was silent a moment, and she let me be quiet. My mom and I are very close, and we have reason to be. She isn’t like most moms, and I’m not like most daughters. I fairly worship her, and she loves me unconditionally and proves it continually.
“How do I know if this is the good kind of love mom? How do I know?”
“I was so young when I met your dad, too young honestly. I was impressionable, and he took advantage. I loved the danger of him, the sex and his absolute dominance. You have the advantage of knowing there are different types of love and different qualities of men that wield it. Now with your knowledge, is your Locke, a good man?”
“No hesitation and that’s all you needed to say. I know your doubt and fear it’s not about him and it’s not about you. Let it go, Adley, your dad, doesn’t deserve to give you anything let alone fear and loneliness.”
It was an old conversation. The trouble is that I had adored him, worshiped him and it wasn’t until I was almost nine that I figured out who and what he really was. He kept it from everyone, and the worst was my mom. I was too young to understand what abuse was. Too young to know how he controlled her. She was a grown up and didn’t know he was hitting us until he hit Elton that day for sneaking the scary movie home. It nearly destroyed her, except Elton and I gave her the motivation to find her own strength. Of course, all the well-meaning people came along afterwards to say things that were more hurtful than helpful, and those people showed their true colours or lack of. For me, what he did to me was unforgivable, and some couldn’t see beyond what happened. Granted many others gave me love and support and forgave a child for something she didn’t understand.
Mom found her way and then found Donovan. Donovan was the one to break me from my misery. He was the one to prove that love from a father figure isn’t subtle threats and a hard hand or fist. That the cost of love is love and not absolute obedience. Once he broke the spell, I saw my mom was happy. Truly happy and it didn’t have rules that were unreasonable.
“What is it dear?”
“Is it scary?”
“Love is everything good, and good has its challenges. The question is Adley is it scary because you’re happy and afraid of heartache or scary because he dominates, controls or hurts you?”
“I’m not myself around him sometimes.” I put my new treasures on a shelf and wondered if I would ever read Locke’s book. I doubt he’d be offended if I didn’t. I might try. Maybe.
“Because he makes you act different or influences you?”
“No, because this is new territory for me.”
“Bigger than Arnold?”
I chuckled. I was so ‘in love’ with Arnold. My first love and it was a doozy. I was insane and drove him away fast.
“Yes, only it’s not one-sided.”
“Love makes us do funny things, Adley. When I was younger, I was the perfect victim, and nobody said a word against him until he was gone. Now I won’t interfere, but you know I will always be honest I will never be that person who whispers but never speaks up.”
Again, I was quiet, and I heard my mom sigh softly. “The police contacted me, I know what happened. Next time call me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to worry you. It was just anger, no threats. I know the drill.”
“I’m sorry that you do.”
“I’m not running mom, I can’t run anymore. If it comes out again, I’ll face it.”
“And we will all support that decision Adley unconditionally.”
And they would. They’ve all said so a million times. Donovan is my most prominent champion.
“Get some sleep dear, I know you, and I know you have a busy day tomorrow.”
I ended the call and looked at the reflection of myself on my phone screen. It has to be too soon, too fast to tell.
“There’s no way I’m in love for real.”
Then I smiled. It’s not a bad thing. I had forgotten that my mom was on the call list if anything was reported. It’s been so long. I shook the negative from my head and recalled the date dreamily as I got ready for bed then drifted off to sleep.
To be continued…
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