This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol.
It is rated R and is for readers 18+ only.
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Explaining A Secret – (Part- 35) Climbing Ivy
I was angry that Dustin would think the worst of me. Not that I gave him any reason to think the best. This was the last place in the world I wanted to be and he was the last person I wanted to have a serious conversation with right now.
Even so, I wanted to have him stop looking at me as if I were the worst person in the world.
“I can explain.”
“Yes, you can and will. Here.” Dustin said as he gestured for me to sit on a soft couch.
He stormed out and I started getting angry that he was assuming he had any right to be angry. I took the glass of water from him and took a painkiller and the antibiotic from the prescription bottles we just picked up. Dustin sat on a chair across from me.
“First of all screw you!” I yelled at him as my tears came to fill my eyes. “I tried to find you, to figure out who you were. I was alone and scared. My worst nightmare came true. I was unwed, pregnant and if my work found out, I’d be unemployed.”
“So you just…” He clenched his hands turning his knuckles white.
“Again screw you. No, I didn’t. I was so stressed out, confused, terrified and embarrassed. I couldn’t sleep and could keep nothing down. I was trying to impress my cold-hearted awesome boss. I was working fourteen-hour days six days a week on average, and keeping my problems from my mom and Jim. I kept it a secret from everyone. I gave up trying to find you and started accepting my fate. I was coming to terms with it all when I collapsed. I fell down an escalator at the mall and had a miscarriage as a result of the fall, the stress and near starvation.”
“Oh Ivy.” Dustin moved closer and knelt before me.
“The worst was that I was starting to look forward to having something of you, if I couldn’t have you. I found the joy in my dismay. I planned to work until I was fired, though I hoped I would impress them enough that they would keep me anyway. I could find daycare and I had started thinking toward the future. I was out shopping when it happened. I had just bought the one and only baby thing just before I collapsed.”
“What was it?” He asked softly rubbing my legs in a comforting way.
“A onesie that said Mommy’s looks, Daddy’s charm.” I started sobbing and it hurt my back making me cry harder. “Nobody knew.”
“I’m sorry Ivy. God, I’m so sorry.” Dustin said as he put his arms around me gently pulling me from the couch to him. I put my arms around his neck and cried. “You went through it alone?” He asked when my sobs turned to sniffles.
“Yes.” I sniffled into his neck. “I couldn’t let my mom know I did the one thing she warned me never to do. I didn’t know who you were or how to find you.”
“Ivy.” He sighed and kissed the top of my head. He still smelled the same. Soapier but still the same as I remember.
“Shitty karma for being childish and stupid. Oh and apparently birth control pills aren’t fail-proof, or pulling out.”
“I can’t imagine going through all that alone.” He said the words rubbing the non-injured part of my back.
“I was a mess. when I wasn’t working, I filled my time with clubs and activities . I can’t believe all I had to do was watch TV or go with Fran to that set of yours and I would have found you.”
“The show was still new back then, but I thought you knew and you were just being nice about it.”
I yawned and Dustin got me some plain whole grain toast and insisted I eat with the medication. When I finished he took me to his bedroom. A room for relaxing, reading and having long sessions of sex. I blushed at my thoughts and winced at my back. I was so tired and battered physically and emotionally.
Dustin gave me an over-sized t-shirt of his. It was over-sized on me, not him. I needed his help to undress and he was a total gentleman about it. His stolen glances weren’t outrageous given he could have ogled or even copped a feel. He didn’t, instead, he stayed quiet and handled me carefully as if he were afraid I’d crumble to pieces in his hands. I felt as if I might.
“Alright, lay on your side.” He said as he got me settled with a large fluffy pillow to body hug as I stayed off my back. He looked down at me a moment and stroked my head. I knew in that moment that it wasn’t coincidence that we met at that party, it was fate.
“Dustin?” I said between yawns.
“Will you stay until I fall asleep?”
Without a word, he climbed onto the bed and laid down on his side facing me. I blinked lazily and saw him wipe a tear from his eye before I fell asleep.
To be continued…
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Next Chapter: Presumptuous Plans