This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol.
It is rated R and is for readers 18+ only.
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Naming Temptation – (Part- 19) Climbing Ivy
I was still basking in the afterglow of the best orgasm I’ve ever felt. I couldn’t tell if it was because we had flirted so much or teased the other to desperation, but it had been intense.
It was perfect except for the regret on Dustin’s face.
“I’m so sorry Ivy.” He said and tried to move away. I gripped his hair and made him look at me.
“Don’t say that, I’m not. I knew I couldn’t let you go without this.” I smiled softly at his frown. “This wasn’t a dirty fling,” I said and let him go so he could stand. I was surprised my legs supported me. I didn’t dare move from the boulder just yet.
“No I don’t think it was either, but I need to tell you who I am.”
“Stop,” I held up my hand. “We both know this can’t work. Don’t turn this into a fight, Dustin.”
He sighed as he pulled his shorts back up. I braved moving and found that I could. I retrieved my bikini and shorts not far from the boulder. The bikini bottoms were uncomfortably cold from the cooled wet in them.
“You’re full name is temptation, Dustin. To know it would be a forever brand on my mind. I would always have the option to give in and give up. I know it’s weird, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wanting to look you up and hating that I won’t.”
“You’ll just walk away, Forever?”
I nodded. “Can you honestly see us working out?”
Dustin thought about it hard and oddly, I wasn’t sad or upset, not even when he shook his head no.
“No, I guess not. I would need a woman who will give up everything for me one that would follow me to the ends of the Earth just to be with me.”
I hated saying this, but “I’m not that woman, and that’s horribly sexist.”
“For the record…” Dustin ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily. “While that’s what I want, I want a woman that expects me to give her the world to be one hundred percent hers.”
“A trophy wife,” The words came out and the look that fell over his face suggested that’s what his ex-wife was. “Dustin, I like you and while it would be fun to pretend we could be together, we can’t. I don’t think keeping in touch would be healthy for either of us.”
“I agree so we simply sever the tie.”
“So you’re completely unwilling to know where I live right now and see if there is even a possibility that you could find a great or even better job there.”
“I have a job.”
“Then you can go there and see what’s near me.”
“This is going to sound super bitchy to you, would you do that for me?”
He threw up his hands in frustration. “I can’t Ivy. I actually can’t just pack up and move on a whim. How do you not know that?”
“I don’t understand how you expect I would? I don’t know anything about you, Dustin. You don’t know anything about me. I’m not going to throw away three years of hard work and a job I would almost kill for, because we have terrifyingly strong chemistry. God, I want to!” I yelled. “I want to be that person for you.”
“You think I’d leave you stuck like your dad did to your mom.”
I looked down at the sand at my feet. “She gave up everything for him. Followed him everywhere he said they had to go. She stayed at home and played the dutiful perfectly poised pretty housewife and when he left she had no relevant skills, her education was ‘expired’ and she had nobody to turn to.”
“I would never do that.”
I looked up with tears in my eyes. “That’s what he said Dustin. He said he would give her the world and she’d want for nothing. Sex clouds judgment, add kids to the mix and she started turning a blind eye and pretending she was happy to be stuck and helpless in his high-handed marriage.”
“You said your mom is happy now with Jim.”
I nodded. “He doesn’t promise her anything beyond love and never asks her to sacrifice for him. Jim encourages her to follow her dreams and she does the same for him. It’s a partnership, not a one sided dictatorship.” I sighed and walked over to Dustin.
I wanted to just say ‘screw it’, and do exactly what my mom has begged me and warned me never to do. I put my arms around his torso and held him tight and he returned the affection. “It just worked out that their lives connected far more than just sex and a fun few days.”
“Why not see how it goes Ivy? Say in two, three or five years?”
“Because,” I backed away and he wouldn’t let me go. “I know I’d spend those years waiting to see if you change your mind and vice versa. Every date would be tainted and every relationship shaded with guilt.”
“You’re wise beyond your years.”
“No, I learned from someone wiser beyond hers.”
“Your mom,” Dustin said with sadness.
I nodded. “I would love to just go with you.”
“You’d never forgive yourself and you’d always wonder what you missed out on, or if I held you back. Eventually, you’d hate me for asking you to come with me.” Dustin said brushing windblown hair out of my face. “Ivy, I’d rather leave you now on our terms than us grow to hate. Lost love is better than hate.”
I could see so much truth in that in his eyes. He knows hate as well as I do; a horrible disease that is hard to shake.
He kissed my forehead. “Then it’s goodbye.”
The sympathy in his tone was so sad. It was obvious we both felt the same torment and frustration. Perhaps we live near each other, perhaps not. Taking that chance would tempt me if we don’t. This may be a huge mistake, but it was one I had to make. I need to make it on my own, I need to build a life for myself before I’m ready to share it. Even if we could be together somehow I’d always wonder if I went from being dependent on my family to being dependent on Dustin.
“Yes it’s goodbye.” I closed my eyes as his hand cupped my jaw and his lips touched mine gently. The world dropped away in the most spectacular way and then it shattered into a million pieces.
I backed away and this time he let me go. With one last glance at his stunning blue eyes, I turned as a tear fell from them and ran. I had to. Everything I am, everything I stood for and worked towards depended on my feet carrying me away from Dustin. It may be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done but I had to do it.
To be continued…
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Next Chapter: Mom Knows Best