This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol.
It is rated R and is for readers 18+ only.
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Sacrifices – (Part- 15) Climbing Ivy
My family had deserted me to ride death horses leaving me to deal with a half angry half insulted Dustin. I needed to stop feeling so desperate to touch him in any way, even just to brush that bit of sand from his arm.
I walked away from him toward the water denying my hands the pleasure of contact. The waves were high and crashing hard today. My toes greeted the foamy surf with wiggles of delight. Salted water sprayed up my long legs catching the hem of my shorts. Which was impressive because they were almost indecently short.
“I should walk away,” Dustin said. “I should walk away and never look back.”
“But…” I said not looking back at him as he approached.
“I don’t know how. I mean, yes, I know how to do it, but I…”
He sighed heavily from behind me; his breath caught my neck. My entire body flinched with an electric arousal so sudden and brief I nearly yelped.
“You terrify me, Ivy. I don’t know you and yet…”
I hugged my body gripping my sides. I glanced back at him as he stared at me; it took a strength I didn’t know I had to turn away from those pleading blue eyes.
“How do you see this playing out Dustin?” My breath caught as his hands made contact with my bared arms from behind. “I’ve been here before and it goes like this. We have sex, fall in summer love, and in two measly days, it’s over. We go back to wherever we came from and then what? We call, text, email maybe skype or whatever until you get bored and move on.”
I closed my eyes as his arms went around my waist and his body pressed against my back. His touch sent hormones on the charge through me. It was amazing, the way he made me feel. I know how this goes, my heart will break, I’ll be in pain but I know that pain is finite. I’ll bounce back eventually and move on myself. Only this was different, Dustin is different.
“We could try to make it work Ivy. Jobs are available anywhere if you look.”
I snorted as my insides went super nova when his fingers made contact with the skin of my midriff. The attraction blended with my anger at his statement and I knew he wasn’t going to like what I have to say.
“You make it sound so easy Dustin. I’m not going to simply give up my job. I worked damned hard to get it. Don’t let this summer house vacation fool you. I didn’t grow up this way. I had to work hard. My mom had to work harder. Before Jim fell in love with her, we were in the upper lower class, lower middle if she made good tips. I know what it’s like to go to bed hungry and hear my mom try to stifle her tears for failing.”
I pushed Dustin away and avoided his stoic expression. “I’m not who you think I am. I worked my ass off at my co-op job to get the company’s attention for one position they had up for grabs. They don’t hire often since they have plenty of university students to do the work as co-ops. I wasn’t a fit for that position, but they referred me to a sister company who is hiring. My dream, they offered me my dream job and I’m going. I’m giving up my family whom I love to make a life for myself. My own life.”
“That sounds very solo.”
“Yes,” I nodded, “because it is. Can you honestly say you’d give up your job, whatever that is to move to where I’m going? That you would find another job to be with me?”
He didn’t show any expression or any indication he planned to answer either of those questions.
“I didn’t think so. If you wouldn’t do it then what right do you have to even entertain the thought that I should?”
I don’t understand why this hurts; it physically hurts to say these things to him. I was pushing him away and it felt like I was pushing on white-hot iron. The fact that it did hurt, freaked me out even more. I don’t know him, I don’t know much beyond silly stories and what generic things we talked about last night. Dustin is too tempting, he is the one thing that could make me give up on my life and walk away from everything I’ve worked for. I won’t and can’t so I need to keep perspective.
“Why did you tell me something so horrible about your mom?”
That was his question? I was floored by its randomness and I was angry.
“Horrible? There was nothing horrible about it. My mom busted her ass to give my brother and me everything. She loved us so much she took government-funded courses and worked at night to make our lives better. She did too. She got a diploma in business management and worked her way up to manager at the bar she worked. Now she owns it and has the staff to run the place.”
“Oh.” Dustin rubbed his jaw. “That’s amazing and for the record, I understand where you’re coming from. Your mother raised you well.”
This conversation was weird. I should know since I’m the queen of weird and awkward conversations. I didn’t mean to blurt out my history so bluntly or reveal anything about my mom. I suppose it’s all been on my mind lately and I’m so damned proud of her and terrified I’ll let her down. If she can rise out of nothing then so can I. I just need to be strong.
“I think I understand you then I don’t.” Dustin smiled. “You really aren’t what I expect and then you do something even more unexpected.” He raised his hands and rubbed his face before continuing. “However you’re right. I’ll leave here, and you’ll leave here and we’ll go our separate ways. It’s selfish and foolish to think the other would give up anything. It’s stupid to sacrifice so much.”
His tone said otherwise. I know what he’s probably thinking. I don’t follow the normal path of thought for most things, but that doesn’t mean I’m not fully aware what the normal path is.
“But you think we should. One of us should anyway. Right? To fight for the other and make sacrifices for…”
“Love,” Dustin said the word I refused to use.
It struck me as funny. That he was the crazy romantic and I wasn’t in this situation. I’m the cold and calculated one and he’s the mushy-gushy one. relationship behavior. I don’t feel that way and my heart disagrees with my philosophy, but I’m stubborn and it’s what I believe. I started laughing and couldn’t stop.
“Talk about role reversal.” I gasped out as I laughed harder.
The moment he understood what I meant was apparent as he began laughing along with me. A large wave knocked my legs hard and I fell to my ass in the surf. Before I could get up another wave crashed over me making me laugh until my sides hurt as another wave hit me.
Dustin lifted me by the armpits out of the water and our laughter settled down to the weird half laughs. Our eyes locked and the cold water had no effect on cooling my skin. I nearly lost my balance again.
“Come on,” I said and walked toward the house. “It serves me right for not bothering with a bikini today.” I looked as he followed he wasn’t as wet but wet enough.
“I’ll dry quickly enough,” Dustin said as he followed me up to the large deck and sat in the sun.
“I won’t, I need to change.” I went in to put on dry clothes and chastised myself for wishing Dustin would follow me.
To be continued…
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Next Chapter: Who’s Stubborn?