This story contains sexual content, violence, coarse language and consumption of alcohol it is rated R and 18+
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Pity Party (Beth & Sean)
Sean once again made me something different for dinner since fish was on the menu again. This time he made me a smoked pork chop. I couldn’t even look his way. I was mortified that Gemma, Ryan, and Louie knew I liked Sean. I didn’t even want to admit it and there they were blurting it out as if it were the weather forecast. Turns out Sean’s injury was a medium bruise on his arm and my overreaction was all my own doing.
I knew what I needed to do about Sean and just the thought made me almost cry at dinner. I opted out of water activities and found my book and went to sit by the fire. I didn’t want to read, I felt so full of dread. Sean is and has been anti relationship since I’ve known him, he’s not the kind of man who wants a long term partner. I can’t see him actually changing that.
What I wanted to do was run, to feel the ground beneath my feet and the wind in my face. I wanted to jump off the dock as swim out as far as I can. I want to speed around on a Sea-doo. I wanted Sean to be someone else so I could keep him.
I’m not one for pity parties, but I couldn’t stop this one. I brought my good foot up to the chair and hugged my knee. I lowered my head and let the tears go.
I felt a hand on my shoulders and was pulled from my chair. Strong arms held me close and I knew it was Sean. His scent calmed my turbulent emotions and mind.
“Shh.” He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. “What’s wrong?”
“Gemma, Ryan and Louie sort of know. They think I have a big crush on you. We need to stop before they figure it out.”
“Let them think you have a crush, we both know you don’t. So what else is upsetting you?”
I sniffled “Just having a pity party about what I can’t do.”
“Do you really want to stop having sex?” He asked gently.
“Okay, then we won’t. I sure as hell don’t want to give you up yet. Now as far as participating, I can’t help there, but it’s okay to be upset about it Beth.” He made me look up at him by putting his hand under my chin. “We all get how much this sucks for you. Even though you say it’s okay, we all feel bad about doing what you can’t. We can’t stop that just as you can’t stop being sad about missing out.”
I sighed and nodded.
“Go wash your face and come down to the dock when you’re up to it.”
“But my face is puffy.”
“It matches your ass.” He smacked said ass and nudged me toward the cabin. “I’ll see you down at the dock.”
I did as Sean said and slowly made my way to the water. The sun was low and dark clouds painted the horizon. I set my crutches down and made my way out to the dock. I took my cast off, set it aside and sat on the end letting my feet dangle in the water. Sean smiled at me before dunking under and swimming over.
“Better?” Sean asked as he wiped water from his face.
“Good.” His hand brushed the underside of my broken foot gently under the water. “Now don’t be stupid and hurt yourself.”
He swam off to join the group. Somehow having him coming up like that made my heart pound and Gemma cock her head to the side. “Great, just great,” I muttered.
After a while, I backed up, dried my foot and put the cast back on. Despite the cast being awkward and horrible it did help. For my injury it wasn’t about holding bones still to heal, It was about keeping me from making it worse by moving it too sharply and keeping it mostly immobile. Walking on it in the cast and taking breaks from the cast might help with reducing the rehab if I’m careful.
I was still feeling like crap and wiped a stray tear or two as I sat watching. When there was lightning in the distance, everyone got out. I got up and out of the way so I didn’t get wet and headed back to the cabin.
“Hey,” Gemma said quietly as I set my crutches down by a chair. “Did I upset you?”
“No.” I smiled weakly. “Just feeling sorry for myself.”
She put her arm around me. “Ah, babe that was bound to happen. I meant about Sean.”
I sighed. “It’s humiliating.” It honestly was.
I frowned and waited for the rowdy others to move on to the cabin to change.
“It makes me angry that you think so.” Gemma shook her head sadly. “There’s nothing wrong with Sean.”
I shot her a sideways look of contempt.
“Well okay, so he picks on you. But if you ask me it’s his way of protecting himself.”
“Clara.” Gemma kissed my cheek and walked away.
I sat and thought about it. Clara was the one, Sean’s true love and he proposed to her shortly after he turned twenty. He was head over heels over her. All the cliché’s fit like a glove over them. Only they didn’t. The picture perfect romance was all a lie from her side. Clara cheated on him and begged his forgiveness, which he gave. The second time she had to beg more, but the third was when he finally kicked her out. He had been devastated. I met Sean seven years ago on my eighteenth birthday about a year after Clara tore him apart.
It was a story he threw at me once when I didn’t want to admit my boyfriend Ross wasn’t being faithful. I was ready to ignore, or even forgive Ross because he was so doting, but Sean set me straight. “Nobody deserves to be someone’s doormat.” He’d said.
I stared at the flames transfixed by their dancing as I remembered things from so long ago.
To be continued…
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